There was a carnality in me I couldnt erase. A healthy individual would have opened the door gradually, but my siblings had knocked it down and thrown me across the threshold against my will. Because of them, I could never separate my pleasure from my guilt. From this day forward, every sexual experience I might have would be doomed to suffer a mix of ecstasy and guilt. Because of them, sexual pleasure became shameful. And shame would become a substitute for pleasure. All I could do was submit.. I knew Jon was out of the normal, but not to that extent. Carrie and I met Jon for dinner the following week. Over drinks, Jon was leering at me, and I was feeling rather doomed for having agreed to this, but Carrie's will was my command.My stomach was doing real sommersaults by the time the big night arrived. Jon was already there when I pulled up to Carrie's house. I was so tight that my legs could barely get up the short flight of stairs to Carrie's front door. Carrie led me to her attic,. Little creaks and groans – the sounds of the house moving, he assumed. Funny how he had never noticed them before. Far in the distance he could hear the distant buzz of a car. Again he felt a warm liquid trickle down his leg, hot at first then growing slowly colder and clammier against his flesh. As Rotkoff lay unmoving, he could hear the repetitive thump-thump of his heart beating. Faintly he could hear the swishing of the blood being forced through the tracery of tiny veins and capillaries. She had told him he was a father. She was the first to give him that gift, not that stupid girlfriend of his. That made her so proud. “We’ll figure it all out … aaahhhhhhhh … later.”The glass in the picture frames rattled as Daniel moved closer to his own orgasm. He’d planted a seed inside his sister-in-law, and it had taken root. The idea was unsettling, but also deeply compelling. He thought about all the times he’d cum in his mother. Had they really dodged that bullet? And Khadra, too..
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